About Differences, Dreams and Detours

Hiya mi Lasses and Lads! How are you all?

It is weird how some of the greatest writers or artists in general are often quite troubled figures. I wonder if it is even possible for a Jane Bloggs or Joe Bloggs to create something mind-blowing and different. Aren’t we all thinking a bit too much inside the box? A regular person might be too much restricted by certain social costumes and rules…Have you never caught yourself thinking: “I have reached this or that age, now I am supposed to do this or that” or something along the lines of “Everyone does this. This is how it is supposed to be. This is what everyone expects from me?”

Many people react disturbed when they meet someone who is different. We feel insecurity and estrangement when somebody does something that is not considered ‘normal’. I have to confess that I am often doing exactly the same…although I try to break out of it once in a while, it always comes back to the same thought: “Should I not do this now, as I have reached that age…” So in reality after finishing university and taking this one year off, I suppose that many people would expect me now to finally find a job (preferably in Austria, at least according to my parents) and to settle down. But what if I am not ready? What if I choose to do something else? It takes a hell lot of courage I’d say, and I think that many people don’t have it…I wonder if I have it to be completely honest. 

I just started reading Jack Kerouac’s On the Road, a fantastic book, describing the adventures of various young US American men (the Beat Poets). They are a crazy bunch of young lads who live according to their own rules…though I am not saying I would choose their life of drug usage, alcoholism, and constant wandering around. I am struck by their uniqueness, by their different mind-sets. It is exactly this kind of person that often creates something wonderful. When you read their poems and for example Kerouac’s novel, it is just amazing how their so non-standard life-style shows us the many troubles and worries humankind has to deal with…It shows us people who are brave enough to think outside of the box, to do things that may be considered crazy, things that seem irrational and abnormal, things that create something new and wonderful! It can be hurtful to do something that does not conform to standard values and norms, but it is also extremely gratifying. We should stop allowing certain rules to decide what we can or should do, as well as what is normal and what not, because who decides that??? 

We should be the ones that make our own decisions. As long as we are happy and satisfied with our choice…that’s the most important thing isn’t it: Happiness.

Dreams and Detours

Kerouac’s character Sal Paradise dreamed of going West along Route 6, a red vertical line from NYC to SanFran, but things did not work out like he had envisioned. He realised that he has to take turns, that he has to go up and down, back and forth instead of straight ahead to reach his destination. This is the same with our dreams. Sometimes it is just necessary to take a detour in order to reach a certain point, wherever that point might be. It could be the aim of getting a UK citizenship, it could be the goal of becoming, a writer, a traveller, a teacher, etc. Whatever dream it might be, life does not just go smoothly from A to B, sometimes the G or Z is even the most exciting part of it.

Leeds is about trying out new things…the other day I played squash with Chris for 2 hours which was absolutely knackering but incredible! I loved it. I felr totally soar afterwards, but it was so worth it. It seems as I am finally converting to do a bit more sport. It feels good. In this one year I joined the gym (even though I have to confess I did not go that often), I tried out tennis, squash, played a bit of badminton and went swimming…it’s good to be active.

last time in MFL department

School was good lately. We found out some interesting things about German and English, for example in German we say “Gift” to refer to poison, while in English it means “present”…The students get more and more confident and start telling me things in German, I can really see their progress and it makes me proud. I’ll miss those guys, also the once who think that German is only “Ich and Ach”… I am sure some will remember Austria – due to my relentless patriotism, forcing Austrian words on them like “Palatschinken” and “gescheid” or “Matura” hahaha.

Olly ready for the Viaduct

out'n'about in Leeds

The other day we went to Viaduct again, a popular gay bar in Leeds, to see a drag performance. It was fabulous. What else would you expect? We were a big group of lasses and lads, and we had a blast. Did some dancing, some drinking…it was a long and funny night!

saying goodbye to Helmut from Bavaria

FLA Farewell Party

May seems to be about good-byes in a series of good-byes. Apart from the FLA farewell party, I said good-by to some assistants and now it’s also the last week in Garforth. It is sad – and I start doing what I always do: looking at things extra closely, absorbing every detail, hoping not to forget it. I contemplate the landscape when I am on the bus to my school, thinking “Maybe this is the last time I see it”…wondering if I took advantage of what has been offered to me… It is unbelievable how quickly time goes by. I was aware of this from the first moment on though. It is the natural way of things and as Kerouac also says something new and crazy will come. I just read the following in his novel which perfectly describes what I am feeling right now:

“What is the feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? – it’s the too huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-by. But we then look forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies” (Kerouac, The Road, 141).

Well it is not a farewell; it might be a see you later. And I’ve still got some time left, so no reason to be melancholic and sad! Seize the day!!! Some interesting things will follow at home: I’ll work as an English teacher with Oli and Maria, something I am really looking forward to, and as every year for the past 7 years (gosh!) I’ll work at H&F! So nothing to worry about!

Ta-ra!